Which Santa didn't fit the picture: The middle-aged man stuffing a pillow into his red, fur-lined jacket? Or the skinny guy wearing a black terrorist mask under his cheap white beard?

Santa's helpers - the ones with "Security" emblazoned on their lapels - chose the creepy Kringle as the charlatan among the fat men who had assembled for a Santa Claus school graduation ceremony at the Grand Hyatt Hotel Wednesday. They were not reassured when he gave his name as Klaus Barbie.

Moments later the holiday imposter was standing outside, blithely reading a newspaper.

"I thought I would just blend in with all the other Santa Clauses," he said, while declining to reveal his true name. "I'm worried that Santa has been hijacked by corporate interests."

Back inside, 12 certifiable St. Nicks sat in metal chairs and heard a brief commencement speech from Jenny Zinc of Western Staff Services, a temp agency that places some 3,000 Santas in stores and malls worldwide.

Among her last-minute pointers:

Don't drink on the job. "We talk about keeping the spirit of Christmas. We don't mean the spirits in the bottle, Santas."

No flirting. "Santa Claus is married. He's got Mrs. Claus."